i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize