So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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