I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
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I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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