Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
