Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
