i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I would ride that face into the sunset
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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