I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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