took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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