I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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