I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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