i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
