Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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