I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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