Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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