I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
