I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
