you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
