Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
