I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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