You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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