if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
