Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
