i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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