you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
