lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
