Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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