I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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