When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
