I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
