I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
