I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
