Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize