I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
