Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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