This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
