I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
