Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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