wat bout pragnant strippers??
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
