just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
