yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
How does one acquire holy water?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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