The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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