i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
