Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I think I am morally bankrupt
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize