And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
