Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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