guys are not supposed to queef...right?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
