He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
