Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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