I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
