oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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