I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.