You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow