your thong is hanging out like whoa
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND