He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.