if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
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She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
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Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die