Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.

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(804): god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away. http://tfl.nu/mycs

Replies (12) Good night (1013) Bad night (3968) Order T-Shirt
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck

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(610): You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck http://tfl.nu/4xap

Replies (35) Good night (6271) Bad night (1195) Order T-Shirt
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(772): View more from Florida

I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.

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(772): I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die. http://tfl.nu/szbq

Replies (26) Good night (731) Bad night (3662) Order T-Shirt
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(863): View more from Florida

you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar

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(863): you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar http://tfl.nu/o1eu

Replies (19) Good night (866) Bad night (5091) Order T-Shirt
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(216): View more from Ohio

oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.

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(216): oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs. http://tfl.nu/udb9

Replies (28) Good night (641) Bad night (5972) Order T-Shirt
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(518): View more from New York

she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.

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(518): she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going. http://tfl.nu/q9ws

Replies (16) Good night (1332) Bad night (6631) Order T-Shirt
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(480): View more from Arizona

He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again

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(480): He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again http://tfl.nu/s0mc

Replies (9) Good night (3830) Bad night (766)
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(631): View more from New York

I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.

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(631): I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex. http://tfl.nu/s72v

Replies (4) Good night (1725) Bad night (593)
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(956): View more from Texas

Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life

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(956): Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life http://tfl.nu/cpkm

Replies (12) Good night (2008) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
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(607): View more from New York

She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.

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(607): She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine. http://tfl.nu/vfal

Replies (5) Good night (1644) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
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(336): View more from North Carolina

he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.

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(336): he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever. http://tfl.nu/31ik

Replies (16) Good night (469) Bad night (2131) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.

(1-720): View more from Colorado

Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.

(720): View more from Colorado

I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.

(720): View more from Colorado

I rest my case.

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(720): ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO. (1-720): Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving. (720): I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW. (720): I rest my case. http://tfl.nu/ktzi

Replies (10) Good night (1897) Bad night (316)
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(727): View more from Florida

This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus

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(727): This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus http://tfl.nu/9e56

Replies (8) Good night (686) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt
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(707): View more from California

I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.

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(707): I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things. http://tfl.nu/vhue

Replies (4) Good night (956) Bad night (158) Order T-Shirt
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(843): View more from South Carolina

A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.

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(843): A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's. http://tfl.nu/m6a2

Replies (1) Good night (143) Bad night (71)

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