two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
