R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
