We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
the gays at disneyland are vicious
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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