Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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