oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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