1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
