Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
