your thong is hanging out like whoa
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
