oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
