yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
