textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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