Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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